Do You Believe In Angels?
by Reaching Out
Summary: Bella has been abandoned. When Edward saves her from herself,she forms a crush on him. Then no one is around to save her until it's to late. Her life has ended. She now lives an existence. But she needs no one to care for her now. She's gotten over that.
1. Cruel

_A/N: It came to me. I wrote the entire chapter in one night._

**Disclaimer: If you're looking for Stephenie I suggest two universes over. **

_**CHAPTER ONE:**_

_**CRUEL**_

I hesitantly got in the car with my mom after fighting forever about what this was doing to my non-existent life. She told me I was being ridiculous.

I wasn't the one with the baby bump. The one who cheated. The one who had lied.

My mom lied. A lot.

We were going to leave my dad today. Forever. I love my dad, kind of, he at least wasn't there enough for our indifference to count as neglect. I used to love my mom, a bit.

Used to.

You see my parents got married early. Scary early. Okay, whatever, eighteen... but when you're seventeen and have only ever had a crush or two, never an actual boyfriend, it's really scary. I was born shortly after the marriage. Shortly after, where a divorce should have taken place, not a baby shower. I took my first breaths to the sound of them fighting. My first word was disguised by screams. They never could seem to get along. Not even to feed the baby.

Child Protection Services have been called multiple times by well-meaning, nosy, old lady, knitting, and cat-loving type neighbors. There was nothing to charge my parents on. As soon as I could walk I was getting my own food. Creating my own toys. My own friends. To the CPS I was taken care of. Just not by a parent. But they were left out on that teensy-weensy detail.

When I was old enough to start school my parents signed me up immediately. Not that they thought an education was important. Just to get me out of the way.

When I walked out onto the bus the first day of school I realized I was the only kinder-gardener on board. The other parents drove their children to school. I wore a dress my grandmother sent me, my erratic mother had tossed it at me. She said 'fetch'. Like I was a dog. I carried an old, used, cheap, make-up case my mother had gotten sick of as a lunch sack. I clutched it in my hand. The ugly pouch containing not a sandwich, but a microwavable TV dinner, cut apart so it would fit in the bag, and a used spork I had scavenged. The last of my stash I had stolen from the ice-box that worked as our refrigerator.

The other girls had princess backpacks. Not fanny-packs their father had abandoned. They all had their hair in pig-tails. Some lovingly braided by their mother's tender hands.

My parents were not poor. Though I heard the teacher talking to the councilor, she thought the school should start charity drives for the poor... she mentioned my name. My mother just never remembered to pay the bills. She always remembered to give out money at one of her many churches. She had a new purse. And more clothes then would fit in my room. Which was a closet. Her clothes were in the spare bedroom. She said that if I could fit she wasn't waisting valuable room.

My father is a cop. He never notices the state I'm in due to never being home. When he is, and I've waited on the porch for hours for him he'll mess up my hair and tromp up to his room. He leaves first thing in the morning. And eats at the station. He comes home late. So he doesn't notice that the light switches never work. That the water runs dirty. He's never noticed.

Now in high school I flatter myself in saying I'm one of the smartest people in my grade. I don't lie when I tell you that people turn up their noses when they see me coming. They have a right to. I'm dirt compared to them.

Gross, worm infested dirt. A rotten apple even the raccoons won't touch.

It's alright. I'm ugly. I deserve it. I'm not even cool enough to have ever had a friend. Even Molly, my imaginary pal now shuns me.

And as we drove to the airport I felt even the light posts on the hot Phoenix side-walk bend away from me. The rejected girl. The freak who knows no love, no happiness. That not even _one_ person has ever dared smile at. Only once_ (once!_) has a person even slightly been turned up at the tips of their mouth while looking straight at me. And that was a women at a convenience store counter who I had run into that one time I used that dollar I had found on the street for gum. It was more like a smirk though. They knew they were better than me.

When we boarded the plane it was at different times. I was in business class. My mother was pampered in first.

The man seated my me was a plain looking guy in a gray tailored suit. He also carried a briefcase, which he opened the second he sat down and stayed engrossed in its contents the entire way to SeaTac. I entertained myself by reading one of my mothers many gushy romance novels. Looking outside the window occasionally to see the mountains and orchards. The lakes and the trees. So many trees...

I had never once left Phoenix before.

Even if I was upset with my mother I could not pass up the chance to see these marvelous new things.

ƀπεѦϗ

As I got off the plane I had to look around for a while until I saw my mother at baggage claim. She had said that we must leave immediately and not to bother with clothes. Of course that means she brought five, very large and very expensive, suitcases full.

You may wonder why I ever even slightly_ liked_ my mother. It was for the rare moments that she was vulnerable, instead of bossy. Like when she came home drunk and was out cold on the porch. At that moment their had been nothing about her to dislike, except her drunken tendencies. And when she cried.

Besides she was my mom.

Though at the moment I admit, that was even too much for me to handle.

We rented a car. Her jewelry bag got front seat of the rental sedan. I was squeezed between two suitcases in the back.

When I asked exactly where we were going she scowled and said to see an old friend from high-school. In a little town, called Forks.

ƀπεѦϗ

As we walked from the car to Jen's home we were unexpected guests. As a woman with a baby at her hip answered the door we were strangers. Well of course I was. I never knew about this person until today. The lady didn't seem to recognize my mom at all.

"I'm sorry." She cooed. "But I don't let strangers use the bathroom. Goodbye..." And she began to shut the door on us.

"Wait, Jen." My mother _(shudder)_ spoke as she used a hand to block the door. "It's me, Renée, remember?"

"No." She said, briskly and shut the door on my mom's face. And in turn she got mad at me.

"You stupid kid!" She yelled as she walked down the driveway, kicking rocks as she went. Not a thing she normally does when wearing designer heels. "If you had stayed in the car as I had told you to!"

She lies. She said clearly to come.

"You were the worst mistake of my life! Argh! I'm going back to Phil." And she hopped into the drivers seat as I stumbled around the car to the back. She floored it out of the driveway of Jen's home. Gravel shot up from the road as her screeching tires left the previously serene neighborhood.

As she left me.


	2. Cold

_A/N: Thanks to **Hyper Kid007 **for being my one and only, as of now, reviewer. You guys don't know how happy your reviews make me._

**Disclaimer: I you're looking for Stephenie I suggest two universes over.**

_**CHAPTER TWO: **_

_**COLD**_

The rain pattered down on the ground. The puddles were dappled with the wake and ripples of the clouds tears. I stared down the abandoned road. I knew she didn't care for me. But that she would drive all the way to Forks, Washington and leave me. That she could push herself out of not only my father's life, but mine too, and cross the country to go to Phil.

That hurt.

A lot.

As I walked to the forest fringe I got over it. There was no point in dwelling on things from the past. Even the immediate past.

I couldn't very well go ask Jen for shelter. So I came to the woods and in it I was able to find a cedar that was hollow inside. I crawled into the cramped place. My shelter from the pouring rain.

I must have stayed there for a while, sleeping. When I woke up my teeth were chattering uncontrollably and my nose was dripping. My fingers were ice-cold as I rubbed them up and down the length of my arm, trying to restore some heat.

_It's so cold. _I thought. _Phoenix was never half as cold. It has rained more today then in a year back home._

I was so cold. My eyes stung as a flash of freezing wind blew the light morning mist towards my face. In the distance I saw a rabbit hopping about. Behind it several bunnies bounced on new legs. The mother urged them on. Staying with them even when one fell.

It hurt to watch. I closed my eyes and balled up into the fetal position._ Maybe it'll go away soon. The cold, the hurt._

ƀπεѦϗ

I felt scared as the second night fell inside my encasement. I had only dared to come out once during the entire day. I had done my business in the woods and picked some blackberries, thanking the heavens that they were ripe enough to live on for a few days. Now that it was night again I was dreadfully scared of the dark. Last night I had had too much on my mind to be afraid. But now I could hear all the noises. The coyote calls, the rustling leaves. The bright eyes looking at me from behind the trees.

They all kind of freaked me out. So, like any reasonable girl would do, I turned with my feet to the opening. I didn't want to have my back vulnerable, and my legs might buy me a minute if it was necessary to kick a coyote, or raccoon away from me.

I closed my eyes with my head nestled against my shoulder, my arms encasing my trembling feet. Years of practice at being invisible made me small enough to be semi-comfortable in the hollow of the tree.

I coughed and sniffled all through an hour. Sleep was beginning to look impossible. But I continued to keep my eyes firmly closed and a fist at my chest as the breathing became hard with the unending coughs. I was no doubt attracting the attention of every creature in the area.

Including the hostile ones. I shuddered out of fear this time, not the bitter temperatures as I had before. I tried to cough a bit quieter.

Then I felt something on my face. It seemed not to notice my sniffles. I though, was scared stiff by its very existence.

With my arachnophobia I released a blood-curdling scream. I also hoped out of my safe tree and into the night.

"Eew!" I shrieked. Slapping at my cheek, I heard the leaves crackle and stopped dead in my tracks.

The spider infested hidey-hole looked like an oasis in comparison to the dark forest.

I dove back in. Shivering out of fear and possible frostbite.

I fell into a coughing fit as I scrambled to get in out of the rain and stay warm. My lungs scraped every time I exhaled. I was dehydrated and any rain I tried to swallow only made it worse.

"I wish she hadn't done this to me." I muttered. "I'll die before the end of a week."

I sneezed and sniffed.

_Life couldn't get worse._

When I thought that lighting lit up the sky.

_How predictable._

I heard more noises from outside. This time they were closer.

_Don't cough_, I told myself.

Of course then I felt a tickling sensation in my throat.

_"No!"_ I mentally screamed.

I coughed. Loudly.

More sounds, I curled up tighter.

As something touched my leg I whimpered.

"Hey." The voice was rough, low. I'm guessing that this something is a guy. Probably a strange, outdoorsy homeless guy. Who else would be this far in the woods?

I tried to look towards the sound but I was frozen. My eyes opened only after I rubbed them with my hands for a while.

As my eyes took in light I tried to speak. To ask 'who are you?' But the cold prevented it. Along with my sore throat. That... and his face.

He was tall. Even with his knees bent and resting on the balls of his feet he had to bow his head_ a ton _to see into the space I so easily, if not comfortably, fit into. His face was handsome and his muscles prominent.

The most breathtaking part?

It wasn't that he seemed to have forgotten a shirt in his wardrobe.

Though it did give me a great view of his pecks and abs but, considering the weather this fact could have been the icing on the crazy cake.

No, the no-shirt thing was nothing, _nothing, _compared to the look on his face. He looked... concerned. An expression I had never seen in person, though I have observed it. Apparently it's a face people make when they are worried about someone else. They have a creased brow and their lips curve down a tiny bit and their eyes look heavy almost. Hurt. He looked like Mrs. Doff when she first learned that the class pet had cancer. Concerned.

And, yeah, turns out he doesn't look homeless.

He reached out towards me. Softly stroking my mangled and matted hair. "God." He sighed. "You look awful. You must be freezing. How long have you been out here?"

I shied away at his touch.

"It's okay." He calmed me. "I won't hurt you." Then he picked me up. I was relieved and overjoyed at the heat of his skin. And afraid that a stranger was touching me. I wondered for only a moment why his skin burned and was dry while the rain leaked through the trees and the cold beat down on us. I decided I must just have hypothermia. I would most likely think anything with a pulse was warm.

"Who-" I managed to get out but it was pretty incomprehensible.

He understood me.

"Sorry for not saying earlier." He apologized while jogging through the dense underbrush. His voice never shook. It was as though he was unphased by the exercise coupled with my weight. As if it didn't tire him at all. "I'm Sam. I'm going to take you right to the hospitable in Forks. It won't take more than fifteen minutes."

I didn't care though. I was too tired to care. Too cold. All I did was burrow in Sam's arms for warmth and close my eyes. Just relishing in the fact that someone was capable of showing kindness to me.

_A/N: Hah! I bet you all thought it was Jake!_


	3. White

_A/N: Yay! I have six reviews. And I decided after I wrote this chapter and named it that hey! this would be better name. So here it is with its changed tittle. I give you: White. (Formally known as Do You Believe In Angels?)_

**Disclaimer: If you're looking for Stephenie I suggest two universes over.**

_**CHAPTER THREE:**_

_**WHITE**_

I woke to the sound of soft beeping. Steady and quick. Like the constant beating of a drum, _bum, bum, bum, bum... _Over and over. So much unlike the short while ago that I was in a tree as the rain fell in sheets about me, I felt warm. So very warm. So very, very tired.

I felt no need to open my eyes... and yet, I did. I wanted to know what the beeping sound was. Why I felt so warm. Why I was no longer able to hear the pounding of rain and only the soft pitter-patter of drops against glass. Why there was no cackling branches to scare me.

The room I was in was glaringly white. From the marble counter tops to the curtains that lightly hungover the rain-streaked window. The linoleum floors and sheets all were the color of fresh snow. The lights reflecting a heavenly glow upon every shining surface. Even the doctor was white as he strode towards me with a gentle gait. His pale, alabaster skin, even his rich blond hair blended with the rooms plain decor.

"Hello," He greeted me. "I am Dr. Carlisle Cullen and I've heard that no one knows who you are." He chuckled. "The nurses have spoken of nothing but your arrival. They swear that you must be an angel who lost her way in the woods." His smooth voice fitted the room too. Precise, simple and perfect.

"Do you believe in angels?" He asked me, grinning.

If I had been asked this question by any other being I would have responded the easiest way possible. _'No.' _But this was a man who looked like he belonged in the paintings we had studied in school. And he queried about this in a room that was a replica of the place beyond the sky. I usually didn't believe in god, in angels, because if they were real they wouldn't have treated me so cruelly for all of my young life.

It all changed as I opened my mouth and hoarsely whimpered my answer.

"Yes."

For how else would I suddenly be warm when I had been so cold. And why else would people suddenly be smiling at me. I was still skeptical about the Lord Almighty, but in one thing I was sure. This man must be my guardian angel. And I owed everything to him.

"That's wonderful." He said. "Few do."

He stuck a plastic sleeve on the thermometer and popped it into my mouth. He then began to tell me of my problems.

"You have hypothermia. I will tell you of the symptoms and just shake or nod your head according to if they apply to you. All right?"

I nodded.

"Have you recently been shivering uncontrollably?"

I nodded. In the tree my jaws had been on their own agenda.

"Have you felt weak or uncoordinated?"

"A-a-always." I muttered around the thermometer.

"No need to speak." He smiled from his seat on a rolling chair next to the bed. "Just small motions of the head."

"Have you felt confused? Out of place?"

I nodded. I had become a bit befuddled lately...

"You have pale skin. That I can tell. And your external temperature is a bit colder than most. Yet your skin might always be pale. Is it?"

I felt I had been nodding a lot lately as I moved my head up and down. Tired of even the simple motion. My skin was an almost sallow, translucent. Even when the sun graced my body with its rays it remained sickly.

"Are you tired?"

I closed my eyes and lifted my head on the pillow gently, then let it sag.

"Yes," his voice rang throughout the small room. "You most definitely have hypothermia. It is not, though, by any means incurable. You should be up and running in a few short days. Maybe a week, at most."

I sighed. In the warmth I had no pleasure to leave the confines of the hospital mattress. I wished nothing more than to stay under the thin blankets for all eternity.

"You may sleep now then." Dr. Cullen's voice caressed my ears as he carefully removed the thermometer from my frozen lips. "I will check in with you in the morning. Sleep well, tomorrow will be a new day."

ƀπεѧϗ

I woke to the warmth again on the dawn of the fourth day. The room possessed a shimmering glow as I walked clumsily across it in my hospital gown. As I walked out of the bathroom I heard a knock on the door.

"May I come in?" A heavenly voice called as I wrapped myself in the many blankets on the hospital bed.

"Yes." I croaked. Happy to find that on the tray beside me there was a cup of tea. As I grasped the mug and pulled it to my lips I also realized that it was not particularly warm tea but still it burned against my throat. I looked over the brim of my cup to see his face smiling at me.

He must have seen my nose crinkle due to the unfamiliar taste. "Thats ginger. It is believed that it will help warm your body from within. Your hypothermia was not very bad so you should feel very well today."

_"I do."_ I grinned. "I'm quite a bit warmer and the heating pad was nice. Thank you."

"So," he spoke clearly as he read some charts and wrote down information on my condition. "Do you have a name?"

I gulped. I did, of course have a name. It wasn't used a lot though so it felt even strange on my lips. My mother and father never called me by my name. To teachers I was Miss. Swan.

"I'm Bella." I gulped. "Isabella Swan."

"Don't look so scared. I just have to record this and contact your parents. Do you have their number? Do they live in town?"

Should I tell him I didn't have parents? Not in the loving, I'm-there-for-you, way at least.

_No._ The defiant part of me screamed her idea of sense at my brain._ Give them a false number and say you live in town. He may be nice but I doubt he's jumping to adopt every random patient that turns out to be abandoned. He won't be able to help. You'll be put it an orphanage for the next year. We can take our of ourself!_

She did put up a good argument and I felt myself slowly slipping to the dark side.

"Yes." I said smiling. "They live on the far side of town."

"Do you have a number?" He put up with me, no impatience. Maybe I could just tell-

_No, no, no. No! Just tell him a fake one. Read the business card on the side desk discretely. Change the last four numbers and you're golden. The hospital is in town. It's sure to be the Forks area code. For the doctors' numbers anyway..._

I hesitated a moment. "Uh..." I muttered looking around the room trying to see the card.

_Get on with it!_

_Fine, pushy._ I grumbled, seeing the card and saying the number with the last four digits being the ones for my mother's cell phone.

"Okay. You'll be free to go in a moment. Just let the nurse get you a bit more food and I'll take your temperature one last time."

"Thanks Dr. Cullen. You're too kind." He had been nothing but since the moment I arrived.

"You are welcome, Bella. You have a been a very good patient. I hope you feel well and have a wonderful day. Goodbye."

I got clothed in a dress Dr. Cullen said I could have, he was so nice. He said he had told his wife of my muddy clothes and the absence of a parent to come to the hospital (they were supposedly on vacation in south Africa) and his daughter had gotten me a dress. Apparently though I was a stranger his whole family was nothing but hospitable.

I walked out the door still sending my final goodbyes. The air was cool and the sky gray. I had no money, no parents or loved ones yet I felt happier as I walked down the abandoned sidewalk then I had in a long time.

The sun may have been absent from Forks, but with the prospect of kindness still in my mind I knew the sun was hovering over me. All thanks to my guardian angel.


	4. Town

_A/N: Thanks for the reviews! Love you guys! I'm also glad you realized it was this story despite the tittle. I won't change it again! Also I will always, _always, _update ASAPP (as soon as physically possible). Just so you know. I never hold out on you guys._

**Disclaimer: If you're looking for Stephenie I suggest two universes over.**

_**CHAPTER FOUR:**_

_**TOWN**_

I walked down the street. I was the pedestrians around here. I strolled past the grungy stores and the antique shop windows. The sidewalk was covered in a thin coat of dirt and it was worse for wear. Scars and marks across the blemished surface. This town fit me. It was unique and cold and it was not the most populated place in the world.

It was a bit cloudy and the dull drizzle, I'll admit, was very vexing. But the green... yes, the green was this towns prominent feature. I had never seen this much green before in my life. As foreign as it seemed to me I relished the alien way it hung over the branches. It coated everything in an eerie way that belonged in a horror movie, but the difference from home was astonishing. It made me forget about my mother for a moment. A wonderful moment.

I walked up the street and down another. The stores I entered were all small. The cashiers reading as they waited for someone to approach the counter all looked at me as I came in. Their eyes steely and curious. These were the shops that always had the same kind of customers. Two kinds: the tourists and the regulars. I was obviously not stopping in to buy. The dress had not a single pocket and my hands were empty. I was not welcome.

But I enjoyed the quaintness that could only come with rows of knick-knacks on dusty shelves. One store had a remarkably cute coin purse fashioned from a child's sock. Another a mug labeled WASHINGTON in friendly letters that hugged the drawings of trees and apples and the ever present Space Needle. It was wonderful.

I skipped all the way across town before I realized I had nowhere to go. No home, no one. I had been abandoned. I sat in the small park to sort out my thoughts. There was a circle cut back from the trees. In it was a bench made from helpful Eagle Scouts that I sat on, eager to be off my feet.

_No family. _I mumbled to myself.

_No shelter._ I shook my head. This was ridiculous, I would never last a day alone in the heart of town. The woods were unpopulated, as cold as they were. In town it was all a matter of trying not to get caught in someones yard. I could imagine the conversation they would have over the telephone. The police and the unfortunate person who looked out their window to find a shivering stranger.

_"Hello?" The woman asks frantically over the phone line._

_"Yes, what is the matter ma'am?"_

_"There's a person sleeping in the middle of my backyard."_

_"We'll take care of that right away ma'am."_

_Yeah, _I thought. _All I need now is to get caught by the police. They would undoubtedly notice if I lied to them._

Okay, so orphanage if I sleep in the town. I ruled that out, along with the woods. I wasn't up for another visit to the hospital visit despite the kindness Dr. Cullen bestowed on me during my last near death bout. Relapses were not written into my day planner.

_What to do? What to do?_

I was stuck with no choice.

_Of course, _I thought, _I could always sleep in an alleyway. _

I shuddered._ Gross._

I decided that until the sun had fully set I would stay in the small alcove of a park.

The sun I missed. It was nothing but a infinitesimal shade of lighter gray in the clouded sky. A needle in an endless haystack. I probably wouldn't have even noticed the difference in color if I had not been staring up so long. It almost instantly feel behind the trees. I decided to find a place to spend the night while thin beams of light still graced the streets.

I walked through town. It looked less beautiful with with every passing second. Surely nothing to the optimistic regal outlook I had on it earlier. The rain was pounding and I found little security in the night.

When I finally found a alleyway it was between two abandoned buildings with heavy padlocks guarding the door. Rust clung to the the steel sides like ivy. A smelly dumpster was to be my protector from the street and wind. A barricade from a small portion of the heavy rain. I was already drenched.

I dug into the grime behind the dumpster, soiling the dress the doctors daughter had thought to get me. It pained me to see it be destroyed so tragically. I swore I would make it up to her someday. When I get a job and a life.

I could see eyes red as rubies peering at me from the shadows.

_Rats!_

This was so beyond my comfort zone. Rain I could handle. I could even handle Hypothermia it seemed. But at rats I drew the line. I stood and stumbled to the refuge of the flickering streetlight. Scurrying sounded from the general area of the dumpster and I saw the flash of a soiled pink tail against the filth.

I fought to repress a shriek. I looked around. I was in an abandoned part of town. The shops all had boarded-up windows and the KEEP OUT signs blared at me from where I stood. Only one shop seemed to be open at nine. It was at the street corner. It seemed to be the first of many lively shops further up town.

I walked towards it, like a moth blinded by the light I tripped and staggered up to it. Beyond it I found a restaurant named In Place with a _closed _sign marring the stained glass door. Quite a strange name, but I decided to walk into the first shop rather than to search for another. A neon pulsing sign declaring that it was open. I raised my foot and walked through threshold to the sound of tinkling bells. And without a reason in my head I stepped right into Newton Outfitters.


	5. Mike

A/N: Thanks for the reviews

_A/N: Thanks for the reviews! I'm having someone beta this chapter. Her name is Hyacinthgirl18. Go rea__d her stories. They are fabulous. --And hyacinth says review! (Don't mind her, she's just really pushy ;)- ReachingOut-- (that was Hyacinthgirl18 not me, but listening to her would be nice... and she is pretty right. But credit belongs were credit is due whether they ask for it or not… bringing us to the disclaimer below…)_

**Disclaimer: If you're looking for Stephenie I suggest two universes over.**

_**CHAPTER FIVE:**_

_**MIKE**_

I stepped in to see a bright green sign hanging from the ceiling rafters.

'_Newton Outfitters' _it read in a bold, business type. A graphic of a tree-ridden mountain guarded the words.

I walked through the store in the general direction of the cash registers on my right. I examined a tent and just about stared at a pair of boots until they burst into flame. On one of the counters was an orange sign._ Help Wanted, _it declared. A boy manned the register it decorated.

I was still clueless as to what to say when I reached the boy standing there, but I presumed it would be something about using their phone. If anyone could get me out of this drizzly town it would be Charlie.

The boy was rather tall; I had to look up to see his boyish face and spike blond hair. Then again, I had to do that rather often from my current height of five feet four.

"Hello, how may I help you?" he asked, smiling as I approached the counter. I wondered for a moment how someone could fake so sincere a smile. I finally decided on years and years of practice. He was obviously the type born to be a salesman.

I wasn't sure what to say, so I found myself stuttering and mummbling out an incoherent jumble of sounds.

"Can you speak? Do you need anything in particular? A coat, a sleeping bag? You look cold. Would you like a blanket?"

I nodded and smiled weakly. I was chilled to the bone.

He picked an emergency blanket from a display on the counter. It was one of those silver ones that are folded very tiny.

The small red sign among them read '1.50'. I didn't even have a penny to my name. I could never afford this.

I shook my head frantically. When he stared at me, fingers ready to open the foil I spoke. "I have no money. I'm sorry. I-I came in here to ask to use your phone. I... need to call my father."

"Well." He said glancing at was no doubt the phone under the counter. "To help a freezing girl like you... mom would never know... sure." He pulled the forest green phone up onto the counter. It sat there, just begging me to use it.

_Call Charlie_, it chanted.

I noted the name on his bright orange vest.

"Thank you _so _much," I gushed. "You're really _really_ nice, Mike." He blushed a little and had the total aw-shucks look going for him. He looked so cute flustered, like a little boy whose teacher praised him in front of the _whole _kindergarten class. Not the most flattering look on a boy my age, but still cute.

I picked up the receiver as I blushed a little of my own. I took a deep calming breath and began to dial.

_"Hello, Phoenix Police station six here. Please state your emergency?"_

"This is Isabella Swan. There is no emergency. May I to speak to my father, Chief Swan?" My father never was one to believe in cell phones. If I wanted to call him it would have to be at the station.

_"Hold on now. He's in the middle of somethin'. Do you mind if I put you on hold, Miss Swan?"_

"Not at all, just please tell him to talk to me." Whether my father cared all that much for me or not I had a certain respect from the officers in Phoenix. They looked up to my father as such a role model I was instantly the most perfect girl in the city just because I was his daughter. It was flattering.

I waited there with Mike for a long time. So long I feared Mike would just say sorry but we have to close now. He didn't.

He did speak once, though. He asked me if my dad was a cop. He seemed nervous to be saying anything at all.

I said yeah. Then my dad came on.

_"Hello."_ He seemed curious. Like he didn't know who he was talking to. I silently thanked the cop I had spoken to earlier.

"Hi, dad. Mom left me in Forks-" I was about to continue, but he cut me off.

_"You know what I found out after she left? Do you, Isabella?"_ His voice sounded harsh over the lines. Strict. _"I found out that I'm now twenty thousand dollars in debt. Late fees stacked up high as the eye can see. I had to_ _sell the house and move into an apartment."_

"I'm sorry dad. I would have told you that she-"

I was cut off once again.

_"You could have, but you didn't. You didn't care at all. You left with her. You know what, Isabella? I'm getting over it. Over her. Over you. Over the baby she's gonna have with another man. Love this Phil guy. Love him like no one ever loved me."_ He wasn't crying. I could tell that, but he was choked up. _"He'll be a better dad to you than I ever was. Even if he steals another man's woman out from under his nose. Don't call me again. I'll just live without you."_

The line went dead. He had hung up. The phone felt limp in my hands and I slowly handed it to Mike.

I felt the tears prick my eyes. Then as they welled up and began to pour out I turned away from him. I wanted to go somewhere and just cry. No one wanted me. Even Charlie had gotten over me. I didn't blame him. It probably wasn't that hard to do.

I didn't want Mike to see me cry. Even if I had only known him for a short while.

_No one needs me. _ I sobbed._ So I just won't need them. _

_No,_ I thought_, no one will ever need to look after me or care for me again. _

Then a hand brushed against my shoulder gently. "Isabella?" The sales clerk asked. "Are you alright?"

"No, Mike." I said. "You probably have to close up soon anyway. I'll just leave leave."

And I bolted.

It's true I tripped and it's also a given that helpful Mike tried to catch me. And yes, I pushed him away.

And I know it was rude to push the closest thing to a friend I would probably ever have away. But I didn't need anybody. And I'd start with Mike.

_B/N- Isn't this story brilliant? Now do us a favor and review to make the happy author even happier. Which is good for her Beta. ;) So review people, or next time we'll start handing out the bribes. hyacinthgirl18_

_A/N: Please keep in mind that anything with a ;) in it is probably written by Hyacinthgirl18. I don't really do that. And I tend to write Reaching Out with a space... hehe. Hint to beta.  
_

_The next chapter is REALLY depressing. A friend called as I was writing it and lets just say it wasn't a very hahaha kind of chat. More of an 'oh… how sad…' kind of thing. The next chapter is basically Bella's rambling thoughts on hating herself so I wouldn't recommend reading it if you are feeling unwell or suicidal. _

_Thanks for reading!_

_-Reaching Out_


	6. No

A/N: I'm sorry she acts so egotistical here

_A/N: I'm sorry she acts so egotistical here. It h__ad to be done. Huge thanks to hyacinthgirl18 for betaing. You should really read her stories. They are Fabulous._

**Disclaimer: If you're looking for Stephenie I suggest two universes over.**

_**CHAPTER SIX:**_

_**NO**_

___I don't need anyone,_ I thought as I stumbled through the night. If anyone saw me they would probably assume I had been drinking.

I could not bring myself to care. It didn't matter what anyone thought of me. Not even myself.

I was nothing but a menace. Cindy Crawford never got valedictorian our sophomore year. I smudged her record.

Now she must hate me.

Mom and Charlie had to pay for my room and board. My food, even the small amounts I had. I was a bad, horrible person. No wonder they hated me.

At the hospitals in Phoenix I had been to often due to injuries, I had been a mean person, distracting the doctors from their duties. A menace to the people in the ambulance. The doctors and nurses. Because of my wounded limbs there was less plaster and casting material for everyone else. A nuisance to my mothers kindergarden teacher's health insurance… A menace to Dr. Cullen. I was a waste of his time.

I was annoying; to Sam who rescued me from the harsh woods, to Mike who let me run up the phone bill, to the rats that I startled, to the boy scouts bench. The bench may have lasted a while longer was I to not have sat on it, to smudge its surface. It may have lived for more years if not under my weight. Even over such a short period of time.

I searched for one good thing I had done in this world. There was none. I was a provocation to everyone; to time as it flew by, supporting me; to the earth. I even aggravated myself.

I was a nuisance… a pain in the neck. Surely a pest in the truest sense, for I only made trouble. Attracted it more than once. I was a worthless addition to society.

Nothing wanted me, not the blue sky above, or the dirt that squished under my feet, and I had no allegiance to anybody in-between.

I did not deserve to live. Think of the men and women, the sweet children, hardly more than infants that died everyday. All because I was there. I took and ate the food they desperately needed. Stole the medicine their bodies craved. I ruined the lives of plants and of bugs by stepping in the grass that was so abundant here. I shattered the frail world of the rats in the alleyways. They would all benefit if I wasn't here.

I stopped, landing heavily on the hard ground, pleased with the newfound pain coursing through my rear. I was such a masochist.

Listening to the sound of my heavy breathing as I leaned against the brick wall, I thought this, letting the sensation of guilt wash through me.

With every breath, I came a new reason. Sports; I've caused more injuries on not only myself but others in a single round of tennis than most stuntman inflict on themselves in all their life.

Air; there would be more oxygen if I were not here to inhale it.

Oh how many times had I seen a weed in my mother's garden and not bothered to pick it? How many times have I read but not written? How many times had I taken and not given back? Not once have I contributed to anyone on this earth. Not once have I done anything- anything other than taking it all for granted.

I had done community service; the idiocy of it now struck me, the uselessness of it all, staying in the children's ward of the hospital where I had gotten some hours in, just hoping that someday I could go to college and get away from my parents.

Which was now no longer a problem. I had learned in the few months I had assisted the tear-eyed mothers in pursuit of making their children's last moments happy.

I was foolish, I now saw. Giving the small children false hope. I wished they survived. Few did, though the others- they did not. Others that with my help had though they'd see another day.

How cruel it had been for I to raise their hopes that way. To hurt them so.

I did not deserve to give them hope_. How did I live with myself?_

_That's it! _I said to myself, jumping up.

I couldn't. I didn't warrant being cared for. I did _not_ deserve to live.

I saw headlights in the distance and the most essential question ran through my head once more.

Was there even _one_ thing I contributed to society?

_No, _not one flew into my brain as adrenaline seized my veins.

Now was my chance.

I leapt to my feet and ran to the road. I did not even stop to hesitate before jumping in front of the speeding car.

A flash of light was all I saw as I prepared to die.

I no longer deserved to live. I never had.

So I wouldn't. 


	7. Bye

_A/N: Sorry this took so long… my English/History teacher is brutal. Actually I should be studying right now. Keep reviewing… it makes me forget I have Geometry homework for a while and actually sit and write. _

**Disclaimer: If you're looking for Stephenie I suggest two universes over.**

_**CHAPTER SEVEN:**_

_**BYE**_

As the car neared thirty feet ahead of me I leapt out to greet it. Hoping this could end my suffering. At twenty-five I stood waiting for the end. My arms outstretched as I stared down the shiny hood of the oncoming car. At twenty feet I realized that this car was going much faster than others.

_Good, _my maniacal thoughts hissed. _It'll be quicker. _

At fifteen I saw the man's eyes go wide and he stepped hard on the breaks. At fourteen the pealing of the tires was almost unbearable. At twelve feet the man began to hop out of the moving car, and at eleven you could here him hiss and snarl, looking straight at me as he stepped away.

At ten feet the car was still moving forward. We both seemed to think better of this at nine. He bolted in front of the vehicle. His motions were inhuman, unreal. I could here the crunching halt as at seven feet the car settled beneath his unbelievably quick, strong hands. At less than five feet I thought of how stupid I was being. I didn't want to do this. I was stuck where I stood, a deer in the headlights. At zero feet he was nose to nose with me as the car fell to pieces around him, the windows shattering to the street.

He looked fierce. I still couldn't move. Heck, I couldn't think… who could when a strange man saves your life, looks angry about it… like he hates you, and then runs his nose up your neck?

I caught my breath, a weak tortured sound as his bright, butterscotch eyes darkened and he opened his mouth. His teeth glistened in the dim light of the moon overhead.

As quick as he came, he left. I collapsed in a frightened heap as he sprinted away.

The only proof he had been there, in those few seconds that could have possibly been the last in life, was the car. It shone silver and bright, ragged with a dent in the shape of his shoulders and hands etched onto the hood. He had braced his back to the automobile in order to prevent its destruction of me.

And he had succeeded… the beautiful, powerful, strange boy.

I fell to my knees. I felt so tired… a vivid Volvo insignia pooling in my vision as I left the world for a while.

**ƀπεѦϗ**

I woke to a familiar voice. I recognized it at once as the one belong to Mike, the cashier at Newton Outfitters.

"Gosh," he gasped as I opened my eyes wide. "Are you okay?" He reached down to grab my hand, but as he yanked me to my feet he immediately released his grip and I fell to my bottom with a thud.

I whimpered the pathetic sound. I was surprised I could do anything at all.

"Oh, God." He spoke frantically. "Sorry. Isabella, right?"

I longed to correct him, to say that yes, I am Isabella, but that I'd rather he call me Bella_. Anything…_ but my mouth would not produce the words. Even if I could I doubt he would have let me get a word in edgewise.

He rambled on. "It's just that I saw Cullen's car in pieces and I came to see what had happened to him. I never would have guessed that you would be in front of the Cullen car. Wonder what happened to him…"

_Cullen? _The man was the Doctor's son. I internally shook my head fiercely. _No, it-it couldn't be._

After all the Doctor was the kindest person I knew… and that… thing a moment ago… definitely not so caring.

Mike must have noticed my interior argument because he put a hand beneath my arm. "Hey, are you alright? What are you doing here, anyways?"

It took a moment of my silence for comprehension to light his eyes. "Isabella, did you _faint_?"

I tried to nod, but as I struggled to draw my head back I found it impossible. My whole body sagged towards the ground.

As Mike recaptured my hand he also put an arm behind my back. He held me up from the shadows and inspected my face.

"You don't look so good." He stated. Then quickly spoke again. "I mean you look great… just, uh, not so well. I should really take you to the hospital. Maybe the Doc will know where Cullen ran off to."

And without protest I went with him. As I got into the car he pulled an emergency blanket from the glove compartment open and wrapped it around my shoulders. He smiled gently. "It's on me."

Maybe I didn't need anybody, and maybe I was a horrible menace. Maybe no one wanted me. But I did _not _want to try and kill myself again. After this visit to Dr. Cullen I would show them I could survive alone. It maybe late fall but I want to start school as soon as possible.

As soon as Dr. Cullen let me go I would get a job in town. As I got comfortable in the back of Mike's car I believed I knew where. After all there was an orange sign on the counter.

I would live in this town without anybody. I'd pay the rent for living, and living I would do. You only have one of these lives and you must make with it what you can. Being all alone wasn't a bad thing… it just gave me a chance to start over. A clean slate, a new me.


End file.
